Kgay: Do you wana do something special with me?

STL: Of course, I want you to plan special events for me, since I’m always the one planning

Kgay: DO YOU WANT GO DOKDO WITH ME?

STIL: (burst out laughing)

Kgay: Don’t laugh, I’m serious, Dokdo is a really special place!

Dokdo? What’s Dokdo? I must say, after living in this country for FOUR years, I have never heard about Dokdo, or the issues surrounding Dokdo. What is the whole business about Dokdo?

I’m also hoping that this topic will be a recurring thing (unless someone has already done something like this, then I will be pissed ^^)

Let me start off by saying AAAAAAARGH! I hate it when Koreans are TOO friendly, to a point were they are on the border of being gay!!! I mean, there’s friendly, and then there’s FRIENDLY!
Last night my (straight) friends and I went to our usual hangout place in Jongno! It really is the best bar/club in Jongno. However the people that go there are extremely stupid! Anyway my friend Tits was chatting with this girl, who was married and who was very very friendly! At one point Tits turns around and looks at me and told me she might be a lesbian! Tits has a new love for women so she was extremely happy… Fast forward a few hours and nothing happened, for whatever reason this bitch wasn’t a lesbian, she was just a too friendly of a Korea. Of course Tits was not too happy about this.
This is something I have to struggle with too as this happens very very often to me. Because I’m a tall, beautiful Foreigner, I stand out in the crowd very very obviously. So the Koreans that talk to me tend to be extremely friendly to point where I think they’re gay! But they’re not! ARGH! And to make matters worse, when I’m flirting with them it’s pretty obvious, and at one point I WILL touch their dick!!! What is their reaction? They laugh, they giggle but they don’t leave… they continue to dance around me! Last night a guy even showed me his dick and then looked at my dick while we were taking a piss… But is he gay? NO!
Barf
Sometimes these Koreans really need to get a little bit more social skills… If you’re not gay, don’t be TOO friendly with a gay!!!! End!

Holy fuck, it’s been a looooooooong time since I’ve been on The Hill! Tonight it’s happening ^^

Sometimes I think the reason I am on earth, is to entertain others…
My co-worker comes up with THE most random questions and statements. Today he asked me whether I take a shower at my gym after I work out…. No big deal, and I answer with “yes”. His response: “how do you manage not to have a boner the entire time? Are you turned on when in the locker rooms?” At first I thought he was just kidding, so I just kina laughed! No, he was serious!
I responded with a very diplomatic, “bro, I don’t get hard at just any dick”!

Can I just state:
1. Yes, I do take a look at a guy’s cock if he is RIGHT next to me!
2. Every single guy checks out another guy’s junk, it’s call comparing! A guy wants to know how his junior ranks up in the world!
3. All guys are the same and care about the same thing: sex and dick size! Doesn’t matter what their sexual orientation is!

Man, I love intrigued straight guys!

Closing question from my co-worker: “do you wish you were a girl?”
STL: hell no, I love my dick!

I cannot get enough from this over-plucked-eyebrow man. Whoever told him that his eyebrows THAT plucked looked good, must have been wearing beer goggles. I cannot even begin to explain what this Kboy looks like, but imagine one of those Japanese gay pornstars, who’s eyebrows make a 45degree angle towards the sky. It is out.of.control. Barf.

I honestly don’t think he speaks gay, but my gawd, he is trying super hard to prove me wrong. I should start by saying that only my one co-worker knows that I like to eat dick every other day, so when I make comments, it’s taken as said by a straight guy. BUT, eyebrows manager makes comments that any non-Korean would think is gay:

examples

STL, you have such a good S-line!

STL, when you bend over to wash your hands, you look really good.

(while sitting at the computer) STL, you have such a sexy pose. It’s because you’re handsomely tall.

I kid you not!

I also like to play the shit with people, especially straight guys. I play with them and try to make them as awkward as possible. So today, as eyebrow manager shook my hand as I was leaving, I told him that he has such beautifully soft feminine hands. He’s response, “no way, you can’t say like that, I am man”

Man, this man can break the giggles when he’s not being a tool!

… but they’re not really all that gay ㅠㅠ
Well there is one, and you bet your ass it’s about Gaga! What better way to start the countdown to The Born This Way Ball than transfering all Gaga songs to the iPhone4STL! And then run your ass off on the treatmil while trying to figure out which song is going to be the opening number…. My heart says it has to be a song off the last album, but this is Gaga, why not start huuuuuuuge and do that with BAD ROMANCE???!!! OMG, I’m actually getting goosebumps right now! Lol. I’m so gay! Can you imagine Olympic Stadium when we hear RA RA RARARA~~~~
FOUR DAYS BITCHES!!!!!!

So hopefully you guys read my blog and remember this guy who felt up the “little” boys at my gym! Lol, this guy has been creeping!

Anyway, after I did my first 7km run on the treadmill in forever I practically looked like I swam with my clothes on. So off I went to the locker room. Once there, I took my clothes off and at this point the guy from before comes towards me since his locker was right next to mine. He just arrived from the showers so he was naked. There we were standing, naked. Anyway, since I’m a friendly mother fucker, I said hello to him and at which point his looks at me, looks at my chest and then goes “ooooooh” and then reaches his hand out towards my chest. He then rubs my chest hair @_@ Remember, we are both naked! lol.  I then took my towel and moved pretty fast towards the showers.

Only in Korea is it totally acceptable to have two naked men and the one is totally feeling up the other one’s chest hair! I love this country.

This I figured out while dancing until the weeeeee hours of the morning in Hongdae:

1. I will never be black!
Dancing with two black girls was a shit load of fun, but my gawd, there’s only so much ass shaking and grinding I can do!

2. I will never be white!
“I haven’t dance with a white guy in one year”. And gurl was not even talking about me! Thanks WINK for that one!

3. I will never be a girl!
I can pole dance the shit out of any upright object, but I will never get the same attention/appreciation as a girl. Well, at least not in a straight club.

4. I will never have gay friends
Seriously, I don’t even know why ㅠㅠ

FML